A few thoughts

It occurred to me tonight that I haven't been regularly taking a multivitamin so that maybe a lot of my food problems are as much physical as they are mental and emotionally. Part of that is because I am out of my normal routine as the kids are on school holidays. So tomorrow I will make sure I go back to taking it daily.

I also spoke to a friend today who has just been to the recently opened medical centre and spoke to the dietician. It sounds as though she was really helpful. She really got to the root cause of my friend's alcohol intake which is inhibiting her weight loss. So they came up with a different strategy for her to diffuse stress. So I am going to go and see if I can get a referral to see her.

I also googled the same centre and they have psychologists there so I am going to get a referral for that too and see if I can work through some of these issues. I am also going to talk to my GP about my depression just to be on top of it.

Hideous gain

And yet still last night I overate. I don't even know what to say. I really thought I was better. I thought I had tackled most of those demons. Anything I can say will just sound like excuses or platitudes.

Blogger Challenge Week 9 Support

http://nutritionally-yours.blogspot.com.au/2012/04/blogger-challenge-week-9-support.html

1. What would you tell yourself at the start of the program in support of yourself?

Take one day at a time but be organised. That you don't have to be perfect but you need to be consistent.
2. What would you tell those around you that may not have been that supportive?

I have been very fortunate and haven't really encountered a lack of support. Generally I don't have people like that around me anyway so I am not surprised by that.
3. Who would you like to thank for being there for you and helping you on your 12WBT journey so far?

12WBT people! In particular the wonderful facebook group of newbies. They are a fabulous group of women. They have been focused, supportive and honest and I have really loved getting to know such great people.

Time for a catch up

I have not been doing well at all. I did have a 400 gram loss this week which brought me down to 68.8kgs. But I am not connected to it. Does that make any sense? I haven't felt good, haven't exercised, haven't been focused on what I am eating so it doesn't feel like a victory.

Since weigh in Wednesday I haven't stopped eating. My depression hasn't been under control. I have been feeling better over the weekend but the end of last week was really tough. I had two assessments to do and I was having so much trouble coordinating my thoughts. I sent them off last night though so that was a huge relief.

I re did my fitness test yesterday. Forced myself to go and do it. My initial wall sit was 11 secs (so sad lol) and yesterday I did 2 minutes 7 seconds and I did the 1km time trial in 6 min 50 secs. I have barely exercised so I was pleased I beat my time.

So here we are at this stage of the challenge and I don't feel like I have progressed. This is the old me. Similar to my depression hanging around again. I hope that it is shortlived though. I guess maybe that may be the difference. And I am not giving up. There is no way.

I think I will continue with this challenge for the next round. I think I still need the support and accountability. I am definitely not where I wanted to be mentally at this stage.

An update

I've been quiet! There's been a lot happening and it has affected my weight loss goals.

I had a really emotional week the week before last. Then I went away last weekend. I didn't go crazy but I did enjoy a few drinks-unusual for me as I am not much of a drinker-but I had the most delicious strawberry daiquiri. I was away with my Mum and we had a wonderful time shopping. I bought a new swimming costume, 2 dresses, a pair of size 10! pants (they are a little tight ;), a gorgeous long cardigan, a new handbag, a hat and a lovely pair of shoes. Very indulgent. But wonderful.

I gained 100 grams this week but as I had been away and hadn't exercised I wasn't surprised.

My focus hasn't been good this week either. I have been sick all week and had a couple of the kids sick. Thankfully today I am feeling better. The kids are away with their Dad for Easter so I spent this afternoon sorting out all the toys. I have a lot more house stuff to get through as well as a couple of assessments.

I think I am feeling pretty disappointed in myself. I wanted to do better during the 12WBT than I have. But I have lost 7.5% of my body weight. And improved my fitness and my mindset. I just wish I could be happy with whatever effort I put in. I think that it will never be enough for myself and I will always feel like I haven't done enough.

Consistency-that is what I need to nail!

Blogger Challenge Week 7-Motivation

http://nutritionally-yours.blogspot.com.au/2012/03/blogger-challenge-week-7-motivation.html

This week I want you to paint me a picture -

Why did you join the 12WBT?

Mainly because I wanted my mindset to change. I knew that my weight wasn't a calorie in/calorie out issue as much as it was a mental and emotional issue.
What has been your biggest achievement to date?
That I can exercise! My increased fitness has blown me away.
What have you struggled with?
Still my emotions and feeling like I can't be bothered. I am stuck there right now.
How can you overcome these issues?
I need to go back and reassess everything that got me here and figure out why I keep self sabotaging.